Life's Funny Truth
by Damron Girl
Summary: Umeki and Kaydee are wizards at Hogwarts. During their adventures, they cause mischief like none other. This story is totally and VERY random so please enjoy! Rated T to be safe.


Damron Girl: My chiki teary eyes and I don't own 'arry 'otter, (a.k.a. Harry Potter) or the characters, but we do own the plot, so…HA!

teary eyes: Double HAHA!!!

Damron Girl: So you can't sue us, because all we have is our little bag of LifeSavers, so (paranoid) So stop following us, ya suit-wearin' freaks!

(Lawyers walk away with heads down, depressed)

teary eyes: So we start off in the dungeons, middle of Potions, with SNAPE!!! He has just started giving a lecture about the same root of Relipa!

(Hey, I just made up a word! -)

Damron Girl: --; Oookaay… All righty then. (pauses and tilts head up thinking and then stops) We forgot to tell our readers that we're going to be in the story with our own characters!

teary eyes: That's right! (clears throat) I, teary eyes, will be Kaydee Waldwarf and my friend in crime, Damron Girl, will be Umeki Kieta.

Damron Girl: Thanxs. Here we go.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Umeki Kieta and Kaydee Waldwarf thought of this as mortal hell. Kaydee was so bored that she started counting wrinkles on Snape's face, while Umeki, with her devious demonic grin trademark on her face, trying to think of a way to put him and fire together…or an anvil; that works too…

Kaydee: That's an anchor things! Oo! Oo! I call being the stupid ditzy brunette who should really be a dumb blonde! Oo! Oo! ME! PICK ME!

Umeki: --; Ooookaay… Just don't make me regret it.. (sees a Blended Mudslide) Oo! COFFEE! YAY!! -

Kaydee: Did someone say my name? Hullo, did someone say my name? Oh! Screw you with something rough and sand papery!!! (Kelly Liam comedian!)

Snape grunted rudely, " Ehm!"

Umeki: Hold your damn robes on! (mutters) …I would really hate it if that was all that he's wearing… (shudders)

Kaydee: (double shudder!) So… Can I borrow someone's notes? I kinda wasn't listening!

Snape (irritated): " You would have notes if you were paying attention! One more day where you aren't paying attention, you will earn yourself a detention! Alright!!! Now your homework assignment due to Miss Waldwarf! 2 feet of parchment of the uses of Relipa Root! You're dismissed!"

As Snape turned his head to the blackboard, a red brick slapped him upside his head. Droplets of blood rolled down his long black locks and turned his head around and the kids froze in mid step.

" Who in the hell threw that?!" He shrieked as Umeki's eyes darted around the room with another brick behind her back.

Kaydee (jumping up and down like an excited, silly little girl school with her hand in the air): Oo! Oo! Professor! I know, I know who did it! Oo! Oo! Professor! Call on me!

Umeki: Put your hand down, Kay! (hiss) Believe what I say or I'll hurt you!

Snape: Yes? (sharply) Miss Waldwarf! You know who did that?!

Umeki: No Professor! She's still delirious from the assignment!

Kaydee: No I'm not! It was…oh wait…I don't remember! Ha! Isn't that funny? I know the person is staring right at me!

Umeki looked the other way. Snape looked at Kaydee confused.

Kaydee (now remembering): I know who did it!

Snape: Who?

Kaydee (smiles goofily): You!

Snape (sweat bead with a WTF look on his face): Wha…?!

Kaydee: You're starting right at me, so it must be you!

Umeki (is thinking): Praise the Lord! She doesn't remember a thing!

Snape (crossly and paranoid): Did anyone perchance drop you on your head when u were a child?

Kaydee (cheerful): May-be.

Snape (evil bakayaru): Just for your comment and lying to me Miss. Waldwarf, everyone will have to write a five page report about poison bane, which will be due tomorrow!

Umeki: Damn you Kay! Once I get my hands on your neck, I WILL STRANGLE YOUUUU!!!!!

Kaydee: Yipes!

Umeki (rolls eyes in disgust): I guess I'll have to bail us out… AGAIN!!

(points at window) Oh look! A 12 foot troll with a large wooden club!

The students turned their heads towards the window, as well as Snape, leaving his head a vulnerable target. In slow motion, Umeki threw the brick as it went soaring through the air colliding with Snape's other side of his head.

Snape (hit's the dungeon's floor with a bone splitting thud): Ugh!

Umeki: C'mon Kay. Let's get to our next class! (grabs Kaydee by the collar of her robes and leads the way to Transfiguration, dragging her).

Kaydee: RrawwahhAAAHA!!! Oi! Let go of me! I am gonna gurgle at you if you don't let me goooooooo!!!

Umeki: Gurgle all the hell you want at me; it's not like your going to do me any harm by gurgling.

Kaydee: Gurgle! Gurgle! Gurgle! Don't you hear me WOMAN?! I am gurgling at you dammit! Gurgle! Damn you!

Umeki (taunting): I can't hear yoouu!

Kaydee: GrrRRRR! UGH!

Ron (on looker): Who in the bloody hell are those two babbering idiots? And do I even want to know?

Harry: No, not really. They're newbies.

Ron: Ah.

Hermione: Hurry up you two or we'll be late for Transfiguration class!

So the three ran off to their class.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

These are the translations to the words starred:

Chiki - Childhood friend

Bakayaru - Stupid bastard

Damron Girl: So….whadja think? Is it any good?

teary eyes: Review or I'll make Damron Girl sing " Sexy back" and " The Candyman"!

Damron Girl: Are you making fun of my singing?!

teary eyes: No, it's just the fact that you scary people easily with those songs!

Damron Girl: … (happy) COOL! (devilish smile) PH34R M3!!!!!

teary eyes: …Please review.


End file.
